You may be hesitant about coming to premarital counseling. Perhaps you feel you may find out something that will make you not want to get married, or perhaps you think the only time you would ever go to counseling is when you have a problem. That is just not so!
Think of it this way, when you are learning something new it makes sense to get help from an expert. For example even if you are a “natural” at tennis, your coach will still make a big difference. Premarital counseling will help you develop and sharpen the skills you will use in your marriage. It’s like taking your marriage on a spa weekend!
In premarital counseling, you will learn:
- what strengths you both bring to the marriage
- how to negotiate with each other effectively
- listening skills
- how to appreciate your partner’s differences (instead of being threatened by them)
- how to “fight” fairly
- how to approach touchy subjects with each other
- confidence about the future of your marriage
- what challenges you may face in the future
Some of the subjects you will discuss are:
- your career goals
- how to navigate through sexual issues respectfully and lovingly
- how to handle money issues
- differences in housekeeping standards and what to do about it
- different family traditions and how to create your own family traditions
- how to transition from being a single person to being a couple and what that means for your other relationships
- whether you will have children and how you want to raise them
- spiritual issues
This list is by no means exhaustive. There is simply no reason to wait until you have your first big disagreement to come to counseling when premarital counseling will help you avoid unnecessary difficulty right from the beginning. If you could purchase an extended warranty for your marriage that promised to make your marriage stronger you’d buy one for yourself and one for all your friends!
During premarital counseling, you will discuss all kinds of things that may or may not have ever come up before. If you find yourselves at different ends of the spectrum, that does not mean you should not get married! Rather than increase your anxiety about getting married, you will gain skills and confidence that will give you the assurance that you CAN navigate through challenges and come out on the other side more in love than ever. You’re excited about getting married and you don’t want anything to spoil it. You want to enjoy this time of your lives to the fullest. Premarital counseling is designed to enrich and protect your marriage now and in the future. As wonderful as your wedding day will be, it doesn’t have to be the happiest day of your life. There’s a lot more happy in the ever after!
Schedule time today for the best thing you can do for your marriage – premarital counseling.
